DEVOTIONS Marriage Were the puritans really puritanical? Steve Mathewson
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Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.
Proverbs 5:18-19
I chuckle when people lambaste the Puritans for supposedly being sexually inhibited. The so-called puritanical attitude toward sex was actually quite progressive, overturning the more ...
DEVOTIONS Intoxicated With Love A strong sexual relationship with one's spouse makes an extramarital affair less likely. Jay Kesler
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For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. …
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
Christians and Sex Understand and compare the sexual and marital issues affecting today's pastors and church laity. Christianity Today International
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Overview
Did you know that nearly 9 in 10 pastors are counseling a parishioner on sexual issues once a year or more? Or that 71% of pastors and 49% of laity are "very satisfied" with their marriage? Or how about that lay leaders are more likely to admit adultery to their spouses than pastors? Use this church research report to learn more about Christians attitudes and actions surrounding the subject ...
Whenever I do a message or a series on relationships, my phone and e-mail activity increases because marriage problems are brought to the surface. This suggests, I'm afraid, that bad marriages have almost become commonplace among church members, leaders, and even staff. But what is the church to do about the problems marriages face today? What role do we have in reversing the divorce rate? Certainly ...
Activities are a great way to explore the dynamics of a relationship and to help couples avoid devastating conflict by addressing it before it begins. Here is one pastor's three-step process. Consider how it, or another set of activities, could augment your church's counseling.
First Session
In the first counseling session, I use a kit that includes two duplicate sets of 85 cards. On the front of each ...
I have found that giving creative assignments to the couple promotes their own in-depth preparation for marriage and helps me save some time. These projects make the actual counseling sessions much more effective. Here are six different assignments I've used.
1. Paraphrase Ephesians 5:21–33. I ask the couple to write separate paraphrases, encouraging them to enlarge, expand, and personalize the ...
Nearly-Wed Fight Club Planning a disagreement in counseling helps a couple learn to fight clean. Rich Knight
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How a couple fights tells me how they will handle most of the problems of married life. For this reason, I conduct three counseling sessions with each couple I marry. In the first, I get to know them, learn their story, and share our wedding-planning notebook. In the second, I watch them fight. In the third, we plan the ceremony.
Officiating the Fight Session
First, I ask the couple if they have something ...
One of the first steps in re-marital counseling is taking an honest look at the first marriage. Have both parties describe their previous relationships in the presence of their future spouse. Then, ask each partner what steps they have taken to resolve the problems that led to their divorce. Have they accepted their share of responsibility? Have they sought forgiveness? ...
A second marriage comes with all the complications of a first marriage, plus a few of its own. Unfortunately, churches are often ill equipped to meet the needs of second-marriage couples. For example, among the greatest need for couples entering a second marriage is help in building new stepfamilies. Disagreement over parenting styles alone is enough to put a second marriage in peril. So, while churches ...
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