Urgent care situations often require an immediate response from church leaders. This overview outlines major steps you should take in addressing the death of a child. These steps are explored in greater depth and detail in the remainder of this packet.
Immediate concerns
1. Get to the parents or arrange for someone to join them.
2. Arrange custodial care for children of the family.
DEVOTIONS Ministry to the Grieving A pastor and his wife share principles for helping a family with their loss. Peggy and Clayton Bell
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Whether you're a pastor or a friend, helping those who grieve requires special wisdom.
1. Although God's love and comfort come through people, comfort is still God's work. Although there is "one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus," we ministers are called to "fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, which is the church." (Col. ...
The nurse gently pulled me aside, away from the metal crib, away from my baby. She held me in her arms as another nurse examined Angie. I watched her reach over the crib and shut off the monitor. The arms around me squeezed tighter.
The other nurse turned away from the crib and faced me. "It's over," she whispered, her cheeks wet with tears. "I'm so sorry."
DEVOTIONS Representing God Words are not enough when the death of a child unleashes bitter anger at God. James D. Berkley
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The specific pastoral role in grief care is a subtle one. Even the caregiver's presence as one representing God can evoke both positive and negative responses. Chaplain Wayne Willis of Louisville's Kosair Children's Hospital tells of one particularly memorable experience:
"A little boy struck by a car was rushed to our hospital. When I arrived I could tell the boy wasn't going to make it, although ...
I was pushing my two elementary-school-aged boys through their bedtime routine when the phone rang.
"Cinda, this is Dr. Steele. I'm in the emergency room at Grossmont Hospital with Keith and Judy Meeker. Their son, Jarrett, hanged himself on a backyard rope swing this afternoon. He's been pronounced dead. They asked that you or your husband be here."
At the hospital, I got the story: Jarrett had come ...