| Topics: | Conflict, Counseling, Crisis, Marriage, Pastoral care, Reconciliation |
| Filters: | Counseling, Family ministry, Pastor, Pastoral care, Spiritual director |
| Purpose: | Ministry |
| References: | Proverbs 14:10 , Ecclesiastes 4:12, Galatians 6:2 |
| Date Added: | July 22, 2008 |
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Ministers frequently find themselves lacking either the time or the qualifications for a given situation. We need to make a referral, but most of us have never been trained in making referrals. Having served both as a pastor and as a full-time counselor, I've seen the matter from both sides. Here are some insights into the three questions pastors usually ask.
Should I refer?
In deciding whether to refer a person to someone else, I ask three questions:
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Do I have the skills necessary to help this person?
I ask about the history of the situation, what help has already been sought, and exactly what the person wants to receive. These questions can reveal a great deal about what type of person should be providing help. When a need is clearly outside my area of expertise, referral is the obvious choice, but at other times it's a matter of someone else's being better equipped to help.
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Can I give adequate time to this situation?
A counseling case can easily take up five hours a week, even if the client and I are meeting only once a week for an hour. Thought, prayer, phone calls, background research, and consultations all take time. When you add the possibility of crisis calls, it becomes clear that most pastors can take on only a small number of these commitments. I suggest most ministers avoid handling more than six counseling cases at a time.
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Given the roles I fill, am I the right person in this situation?
One pastor, in referring a case, told me, "I feel comfortable dealing with the situation itself, but I think I'm too close to the couple." His role as a "father figure" to the couple made it difficult for him to be objective. His making a referral allowed the couple to get the help they needed while still receiving support from him as their pastor.
Counselees should also be referred if there is any sexual attraction between them and the pastor.
To whom do I refer?
Develop a list of available resources for various types of needs. Many communities make referral directories available at little or no cost, but you can also make your own. In any event, no referral should be made to someone with whom you haven't talked personally. Screening takes time, but it pays dividends when you're assured of the qualifications and character of the person to whom you are referring. Try making one new contact a week.
In assessing potential resource people, you'll want to know the type of help they offer, their academic training and experience, and special characteristics of the services they provide (including fee structure). Where appropriate, you'll also want to know their philosophical biases and spiritual convictions.
How do I make the referral effective?
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Ascertain where the real need is.
When you're asked for help, your primary task is to decide what help is needed and identify the best person to meet the need. This will usually mean at least one meeting or extended conversation with the counselee. Ask enough questions to be sure you know the need. You may determine, for example, whether someone needs individual, marriage, or family counseling.
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Make the referral personal.
Use your list to decide whom you will refer to. (If there's more than one person you would feel comfortable suggesting, you can give counselees the options.) I've learned to refer to a person or persons, and not to an institution.
One time I referred Joan, a member of my church, to an agency in our community for specialized counseling. I knew and respected the director of this agency. After the referral was made, however, I found that Joan was being counseled by a person I didn't know. At the end of the third session, Joan came to me and said her new counselor had spent the last two sessions telling Joan about her problems. Joan was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, and she decided to discontinue counseling. Had I done my research on this counselor, and not just the agency, I would have learned she wasn't qualified.
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Make the recommendation clear.
As you make your suggestions to counselees, be ready to explain exactly why you believe it's best to refer them to someone else. You'll greatly increase the likelihood of a successful referral by answering all legitimate questions straightforwardly. Give them time to think about the referral if they need it. In many cases, you will want to assure them that you'll continue to be involved, but in a different role.
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Make the first contact, if necessary.
It isn't always necessary to make the initial contact with the resource person. In some situations, it might be important for the counselee to take responsibility for making the call. We need to be sensitive, however, to those situations in which it's better that we take the initiative.
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Ensure communication with the new helper.
I never refer a person to anyone who is unwilling to communicate with me. This doesn't mean I need to know all the details of what's going on, but I have a responsibility to the people I refer; I need to be sure they are truly being helped.
Consider using a standard release-of-information form. Most ministers don't require one, but virtually every community professional does. Having the counselee sign a release when you make the referral gives the other professionals the freedom to communicate with you.
This release should include the counselee's name (printed) and signature; the date of the signature; the person(s) being given the freedom to exchange information; the nature of the information to be disclosed (test results, clinical opinions, general information related to pastoral care, or any and all information); the purpose of the disclosure; and the date the release expires. If the person being referred is a minor, the form should also be signed by a parent or guardian.
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Specify to the new helper, before the referral is made, what his or her role is to be.
If you want a specific type of help to be provided, this should be spelled out clearly. I'm often asked to do parent education with families who are undergoing therapy with someone else. In such cases, it's vital that I know exactly what I am and am not supposed to be doing. When referring people to doctors or therapists for technical counseling, such as sex therapy or treatment of depression, I request that any questions related to moral or spiritual issues (e.g., birth control or abortion) be referred back to me.
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Follow up on the referral.
I try to follow up within a week after a referral, and periodically thereafter. Has the counselee made contact? How is the work going? How can I best support the process? If I'm still working with the person, how can my work complement the efforts of the other helper?
None of us can meet all the needs of everyone who comes to us, but we can guide people to other qualified helpers. Making appropriate referrals can save us from overwork and provide the best resources available for those who need them.
At the time of writing, Randy Christian was pastor of Beaverton Christian Church in Beaverton, Oregon.
This article originally appeared in Leadership journal. For more articles like this one, visit www.Leadershipjournal.net.
Copyright © 1990 by Christianity Today International.
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