Ninety-five percent of inactive church members have experienced a cluster of "anxiety-producing events"—a snub, a lack of care when really needed, a moral lapse by a church leader. If we learn to hear and respond to people's cries for help, we can usually prevent their dropping out. Recognizing cries for helpA verbal cry for help may sound like this: "I don't know if I want to continue coming to this church. If there is one thing I can't stand, it's hypocrites." Or it could be more subtle: "You know, all the men but me in our Sunday school class have had promotions at work." I worked with a woman in Christian education for two years and never once heard a complaint. Then one day in the midst of a long paragraph she let slip just one sentence: "I'm not sure I can do this job much longer." If we miss the verbal cries for help, we at least have a string of nonverbal cries to alert us to the problem:
In one church I served we took fifteen minutes at the end of every board meeting for board members to report who, in their estimation, was crying for help. We gave the names to a team of trained callers. When we call on an inactive family, or one heading that direction, we're probably going to deal with anger. If we are willing to hear some pain, reconciliation will often occur. When I heard that woman in Christian education say, "I'm not sure I can do this job much longer," I didn't say anything right then. But when I saw her the next Sunday morning in the hallway, I said, "Sally, I have a feeling you might be upset about some things in church, particularly in the Christian education area." "Can I talk with you this week?" she said. She came in the following Thursday with all her teaching materials. Even before she sat down, she said, "You're not going to like what I'm about to tell you, but I'm going to resign." I listened to her story for an hour and a half, and I heard from her the classic phrase of one who is thinking of leaving: "I don't want to leave the church. I love the church, but I'm tired." She was overworked, so we renegotiated her workload, and she stayed. The key is hearing the story first. To Discuss
   Raising Up New LeadersHow to find and train them.  A Personal RetreatDiscover the power of the getaway. What's Your Encouragement Style? Eight ways to affirm others. Apprenticeship Model what you want your leaders to do.
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