Step 1: Where Are You? It's important that you understand the level of comfort and experience that each group member has in both personal and group prayer in order to help your group grow in this area. Do you have some seasoned "prayer warriors" who have prayed in many group settings before? Do you have some people who have never prayed in a group before? If your group is at different places in their understanding and experience of prayer, then it might be helpful to spend a few weeks on a Bible study regarding prayer. This can help you understand the beliefs and experience of each of your group members, and it may also help clear up some misconceptions that members have about prayer. If you need to, spend some one-on-one time with each group member around the topic of prayer, specifically community prayer. Do you have a person who consistently dominates the prayer time and ends up intimidating other, less experienced group members? Perhaps you could meet with that person and enlist their help in getting others to participate more by dialing back on their own prayer participation. Step 2: Create a Safe PlaceOnce you have an understanding of where each group member is in their prayer life, then it's time to begin. Even if your group has been praying together for a while, you may need to make a sort of "new beginning." Create an atmosphere in which people will open up to share important personal prayer needs. Put group members at ease with community prayer by setting expectations clearly and removing any "performance pressure" they may feel. The safer people feel with the group, the more they will participate. Ensure the absolute confidentiality of all prayer requests and prayers shared within the group. If your group has been praying together for some time, everyone probably understands this already. But if you have people who are new in the group or if your group is new to praying together, you need to make this trust explicit. Avoid exercises that require every person to pray aloud. Silent prayer is perfectly acceptable as a way of participating in the community prayer. Make sure that is an option, unless you are sure that everyone is comfortable praying aloud and is prepared to participate that way. The dreaded "circle prayer," where the group goes round in a circle, can be especially stressful. Instead of truly entering into the prayers of others in the group and agreeing silently with them, such members will be sweating out the time until their "turn" comes, hoping against hope that their prayer will turn out okay (whatever that means). Group members in this position will feel no community in the prayer time; instead, they will feel isolated and pressured. Assure your group that times of silence are okay. There is a time and a place to "be still, and know that I am God" (Ps 46:10). However, unless you've mentioned it, some group members will become very uncomfortable during times of silence and will feel compelled to fill them with prayer. Such a compulsion is just as uncomfortable as the "circle prayer" mentioned above, and disrupts a person's sense of community. You'll need to use your judgment, of course, as to how much silence is good and what point group members may have just "tuned out" and need to be brought back to focusing on God. Lead the time clearly and communicate expectations explicitly. Group members who are new to community prayer will be much more comfortable if they know what to expect beforehand. Instructions might include:
You don't need to spend a lot of time on this, but short reminders will be helpful to get everyone on the same page. Then your group members can follow a long, winding prayer with a short one without feeling like they will be looked down on for not being eloquent. Step 3: Clarify the LogisticsIf your group is new to praying together, you may need to clarify some logistical issues. You can remove fears that group members may have about "prayer faux pas" by communicating these things up front. Establish who will open and who will close the prayer time. For groups that have been together for some time and are comfortable praying together, it's probably okay to ask a couple of people to fill these slots on the spot. For groups that are new to praying together or that have people at different levels of experience and comfort, a better practice would be to ask people in advance (and in private) if they would play these roles. Either way, be sure that the group knows who will be opening and closing the prayer time. The "opening" prayer is important because it turns the group's focus to God. Often, the opening prayer will set the tone and the pace for the entire prayer time. If it is long and winding, other group members will imitate those characteristics; if it is brief and God-centered, others will also pray in that style. One great way to focus the group's attention on God at the beginning is to open with a time of praise or thanksgiving. The "closing" slot is also very important. A brief summary of what has been lifted up to God in prayer may be appropriate. Focusing on his sovereignty and placing trust in him to answer all the prayers offered in his time and in his way ensures that the group will leave with their hearts and minds on God. The "closer" needs to have a sense of when the group is finished praying—an idea of when the topics for prayer have all been covered. Typically, a prolonged silence will indicate that the group is ready to close, but it can take some experience to make that judgment. If you are not comfortable assigning either of these spots to someone else in the group, then it's perfectly fine for you as the leader to open and close the time. Be thoughtful with the length of your prayer time. The appropriate length is dependent on the group, the topics being prayed for, and how each group member is feeling at that particular time. If your group is new to prayer, don't push for an extended time of prayer together. You'd be surprised how long 10 to 15 minutes can be for a group that's never prayed together before. On the other hand, if the group is still going strong and is obviously communing together in prayer, don't cut it off too early. Consider having a clear ending signal. Another logistical issue in community prayer is knowing when one group member is finished praying so that another may start. Silence is a common indicator, but lengthy mid-prayer pauses can unintentionally create confusion. One option is to have each member finish each turn with the phrase "in Jesus' name." Don't schedule prayer for the end of your group time. You want to honor the group's meeting times by not going beyond the stated ending time. That can sometimes mean a very abbreviated prayer time, particularly if you have used more time than expected for other group activities. If you're really serious about growing your group in prayer, and if you have stated beginning and ending times for the group meeting, consider making prayer the first thing you do together instead of the last thing. This frees the group to spend extra time in prayer if there is a particular need. It also allows God room to modify the meeting's agenda if needed (say, if something comes up as a prayer request that the group feels a need to address further). — Andrew Wheeler; taken from Together in Prayer, © 2009 by Andrew R. Wheeler. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press, P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove IL 60515-1426. www.ivpress.com. Discuss
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