Mostly

Sometimes

Rarely

When people are grieving, I offer them comfort, not advice. A person who is grieving is wounded. Seek to connect with their sorrow and encourage them to take their questions to God. It's better to try to guide a person from opposing God to exploring God, rather than trying to convince him or her, in a single stroke, to believe.

I live my faith openly. Speak freely of your faith and live in a Christ-like way. Those who are open to Christ will be attracted to you. If we are available to people, we may find that "pastorable moments" will come to us.

I reserve judgment when others are angry. Someone who's hurting can have a lot of anger. We need to see past the anger to the need, and provide the calm approach that will diffuse the anger. We want hurting people to turn to Christ, and the church is his tool to express his love and patience. All we need to remember is his love and patience toward us.

I keep loving even if someone tells me to go away. This can be especially important if someone is suicidal. When a person hits rock bottom, he or she is most open to God. But preaching and theology go out the window. The person needs your presence. Later he or she may admit, "I didn't really want you to leave that day. I was embarrassed, and inside, I was testing your commitment and love."

I create an atmosphere that encourages turning points. Some transformations are long in duration and require one-on-one interaction. Consider inviting a person who is struggling to do life with you, which will lead to teachable moments. As you do simple, mundane things, the person will be able to see Christ working in you, and you will be teaching him or her how to live in a way that will honor Christ.