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The First Privilege of Parenting
Like it or not, most kids follow mom or dad's lead on faith issues.


Topics:Caring, Children, Discipleship, Family, Fellowship, Growth, Leadership, Spiritual growth
Filters:Children's ministry, Children's pastor, Christian education, Family ministry, Nursery, Parents ministry, Sunday school, Volunteer
References:None
Date Added:February 27, 2009

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They sat across from each other, smiled, and laughed. Easily the two happiest people in the coffee shop. Nearly everyone else, including me, stared at a computer screen or their homework. Our MP3 music created a personal sound barrier.

The lady and her daughter talked excitedly over their lattes. When my earbuds went silent between songs, I heard the mom say, "This is an opportunity for us to shine Christ's light into the world; for friends to see something good. Want to know what that looks like?"

The next song played louder than her daughter's reply. But she must have said "yes" because the conversation continued its lively pace. Eavesdropping seemed somewhat shady, so I let the music play and tried to concentrate on my work.

But I failed.

No, I didn't turn off iTunes and listen to them talk. Instead, I decided to write an answer to a burning question: What drove her to do this?

What inspired her to share truth, to impart the secrets of a faith-filled life, to help her girl feel excited about the kingdom? What drove this mom to talk to her daughter, outside of their house of worship, about living life with Christ?

Could it be that her church took the popular approach of vision casting a parent's responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their own children, with Deuteronomy 6:7 as the proof text? You know that "Aha! this is YOUR JOB, so just do it!" approach that's supposed to motivate parents to action, but actually sounds a lot like "Eat your spinach because you're supposed to eat it."

No, I doubt this mom acted out of compulsion and guilt.

Instead, I bet she loved to make her girl's eyes sparkle or to feel her child's hunger to know more about the opportunity she had to shine a light. Something stirs in all of us when we discuss the reality that there's something larger going on in life. And on a dark winter's evening, this lady shared a nearly secret, just-between-us glimpse of that special something. She didn't preach a list of religious do's and don'ts. And, I'm speculating here, she wasn't following her own list of parental have-to-do's, either.

I had breakfast with a pastor friend recently. He plans to launch a four-week series on parenting and asked me to speak one weekend. I agreed and asked him what he planned to cover the weekend before my turn. I wanted to make sure that I didn't look like an idiot by delivering a redundant message.

"I'm going to wake up parents by reminding them that God expects moms and dads to assume full, active responsibility for their children's spiritual development."

"Going to use that verse in Deuteronomy 6?"

"Sure am. Have any good ideas?"

"Do you like spinach?"

Before labeling me a heretic, please understand that I do fully agree that parents should take the lead in helping their children walk with Jesus. I also believe that the entire Bible is God's word. How many parents, though, decide to get serious about this role because their churches make them feel guilty by using Deuteronomy 6:7 to prove the point they're not living up to what God commands? Few, if any, is my bet.


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