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When You're Hurt by the Church
Letting go of victimhood.
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You may have been abused by shepherds who should have restored you but instead chose to condemn you (or worse). Or perhaps you have been neglected by churchgoers who should have cared enough to seek you out and return you to the flock. I do not deny that many of us have been victims of the sinful, selfish, and hurtful acts of those in and around the church.
But we must also acknowledge the real possibility that sometimes we choose to remain victims when we have the opportunity to move on. It is a waste of our spiritual potential to fixate on how events of the past could have or should have been different. Most of us who have been hurt could persuade any jury that the treatment we received from other Christians should have been different. But here is the truth: THINGS ARE NOT DIFFERENT. No amount of time spent dwelling on how another sheep hurt us or should have done something different will change our present situation. Imagine that you have been shot and rushed to the emergency room. Would you spend all of your time worrying about who shot you? Or do you think your first concern might be to survive? With physical hurts, we immediately seek help. But emotional and spiritual hurts seem to engender a response unlike any other wound. When we are "shot" by people in the church, we tend to focus on the shooter, not the Healer. This is one of our Enemy's most effective distraction strategies—he knows that healing is available, and he does not want us to get it. Satan would have us forget that being broken is an integral part of God's plan for our growth. The apostle Paul, who begged God to remove his affliction, came to an important realization: And then he told me, "My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9, The Message) Paul "quit focusing on the handicap." This action is essential to recovery. Sadly, many of us stop acting when we are broken, but this point of resignation is just short of the point where we can receive God's healing. No More ObstaclesIn the Gospel of John we see an example of how Christ asked a seeker to leave his woundedness behind, knowing that he could never again fall back on that as his identity. Soon another Feast came around and Jesus was back in Jerusalem. Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, "Do you want to get well?" |        
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Sheila Blair
Church hurt is an injury which can reassert itself when similar circumstances arise. I learned to give forgiveness on credit. In other words, I extend forgiveness before an offense occurs. I would not trade any of my experiences in church for I know how to truly lean on the LORD. What I would say to those hurt...forgive yourself, forgive the person and forgive God. Stay connected, stay open, stay encouraged and in church. Do not give up on church for it has not given up on you. I am the pastor of Grace Temple Fellowship of Tampa, FL; my focus is to rechurch the unchurched. I started an outreach for those church hurt a telephone church, Connection Ministry. On behalf of those who hurt you, I am sorry.
Executive Pastor
Sadly, this seems to happen a lot within churches. Its amazing how church leaders, evens pastors cannot follow the Matthew 18 principles, but yet put themselves above it all. I have seen these people scatter the sheep and hurt those who need to be uplifted, slander those who speak out. I pray for all those have experienced such things, the Lord will use these things to bring strength to our faith as Christians, but it still does cause harm to many families.
Hurt Leader
I am struggling with the fact of my loyalty being questioned by my leader. I have been faithful to the ministry and my pastors since day one. I walk very close to them and have endured my shares of hurt as a result of walking close. In going through this, I am experiencing alot of hurt, fear, trust and maybe some forgiveness issues. I I trust and believe that God surround me in his peace and love, however-IM HURTING. Anyone who is experiencing any kind of hurt-I encourage you as I encourage myself daily by saying LET IT GO!!!! Forgive them and let them off the hook. Its called hurt for a reason because it HURTS!!! physically and emotionally-but dont let it get you spiritually. Speak over your spirit and your flesh! Pray for God's lesson in this situation. Pray that God will reveal His heart to you and your heart to the person who hurt you. Continue to minister in the capacity that you walk in. Walk in real LOVE and TRUST GOD. Peace and blessings
Terry Appleberrt
At this time I am dealing with passive aggressive people in the church. I continually forgive until I believe it. God will make everything alright. :)
Silent
I grew up in a house where my dad always had some kind of ministry position. When in third grade I was scared from us having to move because the pastor made an unbiblical choice with poor judgment. Fast forward. From my fifth grade to college dad was in ministry in a church as education minister/pastoral care. I was at a southern baptist college and scared there so I come home after three semesters. Then, I find out my dad was at the wrong place wrong time and cheated on my mom (though he did not have sex thank God). He confessed to the leadership and we got the boot of course. that's not what hurt... That was in 2009 and not one person has tried to call me, and I was very involved. They only told my parents to tell me I could have about 5 counseling sessions somewhere. And that's not enough. Anyways that's nowhere near all that happened, but I know what it is to be hurt from the body of Christ. He steps in the messiness of our lives. And has shown me how to forgive my dad and even tougher the church. He has shown me how to fogive the church leadership. Forgiveness is when you set the prisoner free realizing that the prisoner was you the whole time. I've learned that its still hard some times but I have to keep giving them back to God. I dont have to walk in my dads shoes or the leadership there. God can use that for good even though it really sucks to be in the situation. God is using this to reedeem my parents marriage and they are closer than they have ever been. I'm closer to them too. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK... Emotionally healthy spirituality by peter scazzero. You cant be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. Great help. anyways sorry typed all on phone. Pray for my family brother mom dad and me. We need it all the time.
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