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How to be your Pastor's Friend
4 rules for navigating this unique friendship.
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As far as I am able, I never criticize my pastor in front of other people. The pastor's ability to function depends largely on the respect he commands in the congregation. Anything I do to lessen that respect diminishes his effectiveness. Consequently, I try to avoid arguing with him publicly. This is something I have not always done well. At an officers' retreat several years ago, our pastor was leading a discussion of the church's master plan. I thought the plan was incomprehensible and of little utility, and I said so, in essence, through a couple of rather pointed questions. What a jerk! Afterward I felt I had abused our friendship. Furthermore, nothing positive came of my comments. The master plan remains to this day, the entire discussion is long forgotten, and the direction of the church was unaffected by my opinions. By publicly criticizing my friend and pastor—or at least the work he was doing—I broke my own rule: My remarks were public and not private. If I had said nothing, the discussion simply would have ended sooner and we could have spent time on a more useful topic. That blunder renewed my commitment to present ideas and concerns privately, particularly if I think my pastor is headed down a wrong path. In private, he has a greater opportunity to change his mind without appearing to buckle under pressure. If I am not able to communicate my concern face to face (the preferred method), then I write a letter. Letter writing is a good discipline. We sometimes realize the brutality of our remarks as we reread them, and then we have opportunity to rethink the things we say. Paul begins and ends his most critical letters with assurances of God's love and his love for the people. Our pastors need the same assurance of our love whenever we offer advice. Rule 3: Never just complainRather than just complain, I attempt to propose a solution. To complain without proposing a solution (and without being willing to be part of that solution) is merely to turn my irritation into the pastor's burden. It is unfair. We also ought to wait a while before being critical. Allowing time between our initial irritation and our comments can be merciful. I also try to judge the spiritual issues involved. A Sunday school teacher leading the class down heretical paths is unjustifiable; running out of coffee between services is inconvenient. Since one is a spiritual issue of great consequence, and the other is not, they ought to be handled differently. Many minor items can be ignored. |        
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layman john
Some excellent points. The last paragraph is right on target. What a wonderful congregation our pastors would have if each member followed those guidelines. I am amazed that with each pastor that comes and goes...a certain few have that 'knack' of being able to get close with the pastor. As I have matured in my walk in the faith I have come to realize that genuine "hospitality" just happens to be one of their genuine spiritual gifts. In the past...I have always felt that these folks were 'brown-nosing.' Shame on me. I'm glad that these folks are there for my pastor. Looks as though I am just one of those trustworthy souls out there in the crowd. But that's okay. Thanks again for your comments. They have helped me get some things straight.
pastor paul Akpoke
My name is pastor paul Akpoke, iam minister of God, i was called at the age of 10years old and was commission in the year 1979 by christ Anonited crusaders church world- wide.iam missionary to pioneery evangelize all over the world, We reachout for christ in places like the motherless home,hospitals, prisons and to care for the disables. We also carried out crusades in most of the riverine areas. Our aim is to preach salvation to all, Releasing of Anointing, carringout Deliverance, Healing the sick, Breaking of convenant and curses, prohephy, Bible teaching,prosperity expiosion and impartation of the Holy spirit.Am soliciting to you to work with the team, be a help to this team. According to John 9: 4 which says I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day, the night cometh when no man can work, so beloved bro sister come and let us work for God. May God reachly bless you as you do in Jesus name Amen. Pass it on to all the Ministers around you to help the team.From pas
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