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A Crash Course in Conflict
Three basic principles that can be adapted to deal with your church conflict.
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In this instance, the leader tried to help the group make the best decision, then reconcile the people to one another. He had it in reverse. Reconciliation brings people to relational unity but not necessarily to agreement. A mature gentleman, opposed to the actions of a committee he was on, recently spoke strongly and directly against the committee's recommendation. After the meeting, the mature member sought out the committee's young chairman. It was obvious that the leader had been stung by the intensity of the opposition. The older and wiser man, even though he disagreed with the committee, conveyed his confidence and trust in the chairman. Neither man has resolved with the other his different views on the matter, but they are reconciled. 3. There is a difference between being peaceful and being a peacemaker. A fellow pastor told me about an elected church leader who refuses to become involved with anything controversial. This leader is a no-show on big issues and justifies his behavior as flowing from "a desire to be peaceful." Being peaceful, however, is different from being a peacemaker, which we are all called to be. Peacemakers do not sit on their hands; on the contrary, they are often in the middle of conflict, seeking to reconcile leaders. Peacemakers are often risk takers, willing to enter the fray with an expanded heart. One of our members observed a growing distance between two Sunday school teachers. Their classes attracted the same ages of people and thus competed for new members. The aggressive personalities of the teachers were generating sparks, though there were no brush fires yet. This member, without waiting for either a full-scale conflict to break out or the permission of the church leadership, met with each leader about the matter. Because of his preventative strike, the conflict was avoided. It also allowed both Sunday school leaders to save their reputations. Gary Fenton; Growing Your Church Through Training and Motivation; A Crash Course in Conflict; pp. 163-166. |             |
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