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 Deciding Without DividingHow to keep tough choices from fracturing the church.
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Rather than taking sides during discussion, everyone works together at a given time on the same task. The colors of the imaginary hats represent different tasks. These include exploring advantages (yellow), problems (black), feelings (red), and alternatives (green). Because everyone wears the same color hat at the same time, the prevailing mood is cooperation. Try another stanceSometimes, no matter how hard I try to keep everyone on the same team, I find one person who persists in antagonism. At times, I've caught myself communicating intimidating messages to the dissenters: "Where's your faith, anyway?" "I can't believe you're so lacking in spiritual understanding." "You're opposing God's will! Shame on you." I wouldn't actually say these things, but my attitude was apparent. Threatened by their disagreement, my natural inclination was to silence the opposition. I have learned to temper this ungodly inclination by putting myself in the place of those who disagree. Will they feel alienated and demoralized? Even if they appear to maintain their prior commitment, will the residue of resentment contaminate the spiritual tone of the congregation? Paul tells us to "outdo one another in showing honor" (Rom. 12:10). This does not simply refer to those who are spiritually strong or who agree with us. Publicly and privately, I now seek to affirm those who disagree: "You don't have to agree with every decision we make. Better decisions come about when differing views are presented and prayerfully considered. It's easier to keep quiet, but we value every opinion. Thank you for speaking up." When people feel valued, they will more likely identify with the church, support the decisions made, and be energized to serve God. Wait for your pitchA good proposal at the wrong time is a bad idea, but a good proposal at the right time becomes a great idea. Five years ago our board recommended building an addition that would cost nearly two million dollars. Many members questioned the wisdom. "How can we think of such an expensive project, when we still have a large mortgage on our facility?" one member said. Another questioned, "Are we spiritually ready for such an undertaking?" While strongly favoring it, I realized that the proposal was premature and did not push for it. It was tabled. Three years later, when we revisited the idea, many still opposed it. Again we tabled the matter. During the past two years, we finished paying off the mortgage. The church has experienced growth and the beginning of revival, which has created a conviction that God is at work. This year the proposal passed overwhelmingly. More importantly, members are united and excited about the future. Decisions don't always work out so well. A Portuguese-speaking congregation approached us about renting our facilities to hold services on Sunday evenings. I felt that our church should open its doors, and I urged the board to approve. |             |
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